surprise heart surgery

_____The day before Thanksgiving, 2009, I had my annual physical at the Fort Dodge (Kansas) VA Clinic. The VA Doc mentioned getting a baseline heart test. She didn't think I really needed one but figured it would be good to create a baseline for future reference.

_____Sadly, she would turn out to be wrong...

_____I was scheduled for an echo cardiogram and stress test at the Cardiac Unit of the Robert Dole VA Hospital in Wichita Kansas. I was forbidden to have any caffeine for 24 hours before the tests started. This meant no coffee, codas (diet or regular), decaf anything because they have enough caffeine to cause trouble, chocolate and other products I know nothing about. I was good and did not have any caffeine.

_____I was scheduled for tests to begin at 8:30 am; we arrived at the Cardio unit at 7:50 am. We then waited till about 8:16 am. I was then sent to a small room where an IV was put in my right wrist. I then went back to the waiting room.

_____I was taken into a room and told to take my shirt off. Then, I was told to lay on my left side. A radiologist then attached three leads (one on my right chest and two on my left side) and began to do a "Medical Ultrasound" heart sonogam head over my heart and displayed various views of my heart as well as showing the three ECG traces. It was quite interesting to watch the various views of my heart.

_____I asked the Radiologist "well, what's the results?" She said "I can't interpret the results."

_____I could tell something was wrong but wasn't about to ask; I decided to let the Cardio nurses tell me the news. At that point, I did not expect to need to meet the Cardiac MD let along the Cardiac Surgeon. Ah, well, "ignorance is bliss" to quote George Orwell.

_____One of the nurses put some chemicals into the IV in my right wrist. I was taken into a room with a large scanning device. After getting a number of EKG leads attached to my chest, I was laid down on a table. A large scanning device then moved over my upper body. I had to lay perfectly still with my arms above my head. The scanning device then moved in a semi-circle above my chest. This scanning took 22 minutes.

_____It was amazing how many times I developed sudden strong itches and of course, could not scratch them. It was very quiet, the room was dark and I probably napped for about half the test. After this was done, I didn't bother asking the nurses for any news. I knew they could not give me any results.

_____I was told that a better interface between me and the EKG pads was needed. So, the Cardio Nurse whipped out a barber's shaver and proceeded to shave four stripes from my chest hair. I commented "My wife tells me I don't have much chest hair and now I'm going to have less."

_____"Well," she allowed, "she was right about you not having much chest hair and now you'll definitely have less."

_____Gee, thanks for that revelation.

_____I then got another shot of something into the right wrist and agreed that I could handle the treadmill. After all, I've done the treadmill for years. I stood on that sucker, with several EKG leads feeding into a printer and monitor and began walking. It was easy at first and then the Nurse started raising both the incline and the pace. The pace didn't bother me but I'm not used to walking on an incline. I quickly started having to breath hard (something that normally never happens) and eventually, was breathing very hard. This is something that never ever happens.

_____I went less than 10 seconds past the "I've gotten all the data I need" point and said "that's enough". It was shocking how fast my body settled down after the incline was dropped to zero and the walking pace barely slowed down.

_____The nurse asked me if I ever got out of breath and asked again when I insisted that I didn't (I don't!)

_____The nurse canceled the next scanning because she saw something that bothered her. I had been scheduled to spend 22 minutes again under the camera, after doing the treadmill. The nurse showed me something shocking: it looked like my heart had gone from normal pattern to a "heart not pumping" pattern for about 2 seconds.

_____This is enough to convince me to keep away from high inclines when walking the treadmill!

_____She asked me if my endurance has gone down in the past year and I had to say "yes". I was walking at 3.8 mph a year ago and now I walk at 3.6 or 3.7 mph. When I am feeling really energetic, I can handle 3.8 mph again. I usually don't feel that energetic.

_____This Cardio Nurse, in charge of my case, said she was going to show my results to the heart surgeon.

_____They told me that I needed to get a Heart Catheterization to see if there were obstructions in my heart arteries. The cardio nurse, who had witnessed me on the treadmill, tried to consol. me with "you were not going to get out of here without going getting a heart catheterization [or words to the effect]

_____It was really too late for me to have a choice in the matter once I'd agreed to cooperate with the testing.

"The avalanche has already started. It is too late for the pebbles to vote."

--Kosh, Babylon 5

_____A male nurse (circulating nurse) introduced himself and then took my wife and I walked via "back routes" to the "heart cath" patient room. He had me "take off all your clothes except for your socks". I did so and put my clothing in a plastic bag and put on the gown. Then, the male nurse said he needed to "shave me". This meant taking the gown off, lying down and he put a towel "over my junk" and shaved both sides of my groin and thigh. Kathie was left in a waiting room and I was taken into the heart cath room.

_____There, I was seated on a very narrow metal cot (almost a trough). The circulating nurse (the male nurse who had shaved me) injected me with "something to make you relax" and then was busy putting a plastic cover over a scanner head. It looked like a hair net. I looked away when the surgeon put the two shots in my right upper thigh. He was then going to insert a very large needled and put a needle through this up to me heart and release a die. The die would outline my heart arteries and point out problems.

_____I remember turning my head away and the next thing I remember, they were apparently awakening me as the procedure was over. I could not understand why they had not done the procedure; I had just turned my head for an instance.

_____A little bit later, the circulating nurse told me that he had injected more than "something to make you relax". He had injected something that caused amnesia...

_____I was walked to the recover room and told to sit there for two to four hours. It took me about 1 ½ hours before I was awake enough to ask them to turn the TV on. I asked them to put it on the Discovery Channel; I suspect this was a major change from the usual requests for sports or soap operas...

_____Eventually, they brought Kathie in and mentioned something about a lunch. Kathie had to ask twice before they brought over a "feast" of two slices on processed cheddar cheese on Wonder Bread and not much else. Yumm, Yumm.

_____After about 2 hours of recovery time, I was told that I could not stoop over, lift anything above 10 pounds or bend over. They also warned me that they had put a hole in my femoral artery and that bleeding could occur. So, I was told that if it started bleeding, call 9 1 1. If the bleeding was subcutaneous, then call 9 1 1.

_____Kathie went to the pharmacy to pick up the three new prescriptions and automatic blood pressure meter and the nurse took me to first the travel clerk and then payroll. It was nice to get some car cash for the trip to and from Wichita.